• We have plenty of luxuries but we aren’t pulling out a credit card or cash in day to day life
• We decided to tip on meals so we could still use the expiring groupons and even went to the Dakota Jazz club for free dinner, drinks, and an awesome show on account of my work perks. Between the work perks and groupon deals, we find ourselves eating out about once a week - that’s plenty!
• Tomorrow we are planning to bike to First and First’s pop up Spyhouse coffee shop in North for a morning date because they are giving out free coffee until the end of the month! Keeping track of new and creative outings is something I would love to do more.
• The biggest puzzle for me so far this month came when I popped my bike tire on my way to work. I was debating whether I should stick with the letter of the law and do without a bike for the rest of the month or if I should go with the spirit of the freeze, spend the money on a new inner tube, and have a bike to ride for the rest of the month! But creativity and good community won out anyways when I posted my flat on facebook and Chelsea came my rescue! I would love to be more of a resource to my friends and community.

• On Sunday, Laine is hosting a clothing swap for friends. So I’ll be able to share some of the excess I’ve been building up and leave with a few special new things. Swapping is free!
• I even went “shopping” at American Apparel last weekend to try on some things that I can add to my family’s Christmas list
• The CSA from Farmfarm has made the food portion of the spending freeze non-existent. We have a constant influx of fresh veggies, and this has been invaluable!
• And of course, people are kind and generous around us and we are spoiled by a bought beer or lunch or chai. Practicing both gratefulness and generosity is a constant goal for me.

Pre-established Spending Exceptions

-Garbage Disposal and other kitchen remodel finishing touches - so that Tory doesn't have to stress out and get everything crammed in before Wednesday.

-A scooter for under $250 if one comes my way... I've been shopping around and don't want to miss a great deal because it comes my way during the freeze - and it's something that will actually reduce gas costs.

-Each of us can fill up on gas once during October so that we are careful about our gas use but not overly restricted from seeing friends and family or commuting. This was something we felt strained about in our first freeze and want to make sure are a priority.

-We can tip on the two groupons I already bought a while ago that expire in October, but not spend more than they are worth.

Shopping list for last days of September

Aldi shopping trip (we usually choose from their small section of organic - bananas, agave, almond milk, and less healthy take and bake pizzas that we've started loading with the entire farm share)

Costco shopping trip (coffee, salmon burgers, toilet paper, healthy snacks, organic eggs)

Coops and little grocery stores (coconut milk, mock duck, tea)

I'm hoping to experiment with:
cold weather biking
making things from scratch (tortillas, buns, etc)
using our CSA and garden to the max
hanging out with friends without spending money
spending more time at the climbing gym as fitness plus entertainment
spending more time on hobbies

As we head into the cold months, I enjoy having this little challenge to keep things interesting. And I'll be stocking up on tea today to make sure I can make myself some warm drinks this fall.

I took a facebook break inspired by a book, and then came back inspired by books - the viral top ten booklist that my friends were sharing, which came up in real life conversation. Facebook is a great tool and a great trap, and I did get the perspective I wanted by deactivating for a few weeks. But I still want to participate and interact with my friendships near and far both in reality and virtually.

The main thing I became aware of is how much I use facebook as a coping method for stress. It provides a crazy amount of distractions and rabbit holes to follow at any given time and there's always something new to see. Not having it as a safety net made me very aware of how much I use it to distract from stressful situations, worries, or mental patterns. Instead of being able to obsessively check it, I had to work through my feelings without that crutch - after some spinning, I practiced some mental exercises that Tory has been teaching me, used prayer to ask for peace, and went to the climbing gym to burn off some energy. I also think that it was enough time to break patterns of consistently checking in on facebook, which I'm planning to carry on - a new normal for myself. I missed out on seeing photos of my friends who live far away, and those little interactions that keep me connected to them, so I am glad to be back, but I hold to it loosely.

Some of you who know me know that I am a big fan of dystopian novels. Margaret Atwood is consistently my favorite author, followed closely by Dave Eggers, only heightened by his 2013 release, The Circle.

So when I came across this article in The Atlantic that in other words talks about a guy "going transparent" just like the characters in The Circle, it was almost funny. 

So let's play a game! Guess which paragraph is from the "anti-privacy" activist's kickstarter page and which is fictional  (that's anti-privacy not piracy, meaning he is against privacy). 

a) "My observation is this: in most societies we recognizing the right of people to keep secrets. But really there’s only one purpose for keeping secrets: secrets exist to prevent other people from acting as they would if they had complete information."

b) "I'm a believer in the perfectibility of human beings. I think we can be better. I think we can be perfect or near to it. And when we become our best selves, the possibilities are endless. We can solve any problem. We can cure any disease, end hunger, everything, because we won't be dragged down by all our weaknesses, our petty secrets, our hoarding of information and knowledge.”

c) "Most people would trade everything they know, everyone they know - they'd trade it all to know they've been seen, and acknowledged, that they might even be remembered. We all know we die, We all know the world is too big for us to be significant. So all we have is the hope of being seen, or heard, even for a moment."

d) "I believe that the type of government and society that will persevere while other forms of government fail and are replaced, is a government that does not recognize the right to privacy, but rather says that everyone in a society has the right to perfect information, so that they can act according to their own best interest."

The biggest points I took from reading The Circle this winter and reflecting on the Atlantic article today:

1. We are voluntarily over-sharing our information, likes, and whereabouts - information that is valuable and has the possibility of being used for both good and evil. 
2. We are constantly in danger of living a life that is performed and recorded (by us) but not truly experienced.
3. We are inundated with information, ads, news, tidbits about other people's lives and opinions to the point where it can get exhausting to switch gears that fast and react emotionally to all these random things.

These aren't new ideas, and I love progress and I love sharing and I especially love photos and video, so much so that I've made it my career. It's not that I think that opting out is the best response to someone's crazy dystopian kickstarter campaign, but I do think that everyone needs to regulate their own investment in their online lives vs their authentic participation in each moment of the day. 

If you've read The Circle or want to, I highly recommend also reading this article afterwards. It almost seems like the kickstarter author copy and pasted parts of the book into his campaign - he is making all of the same arguments - again, guess which one is fictitious and which isn't:

e) "Some of these things I would do again in a world without privacy. Some of them I probably would not... But each of these decisions was made in an environment where the understanding was that they would be kept private. I’m not advocating that all activities made within that context should be revealed. I’m arguing that a society that does so, going forward, will reap benefits that outweigh the cons."

f) “When there’s something kept secret, two things happen. One is that it makes crimes possible. We behave worse when we’re not accountable... And second, secrets inspire speculation. When we don’t know what’s being hidden, we guess, we make up answers... But if all the doors are open... there’s only the one truth.”

They both believe that without secrets, people would be better, more moral. But it's exactly that line of thinking that leads to the main motto of the very Orwellian The Circle, “SECRETS ARE LIES, SHARING IS CARING, PRIVACY IS THEFT.” It's worth a read!

So what to do? I have been known to try to convince friends and family to return to or join facebook - I think it's a fantastic tool to connect especially across great distances, but just like not shaving my armpits or my legs, I like to know that I wield the control to opt in or out. Right now I don't feel like I do, with Facebook especially, and I feel overwhelmed by the flux of unrelated information flooding in when I scroll through my news feed. So I am going where many friends have gone before and disabling facebook for a while. I plan to be back, when technology benefits me again, instead of the inverse.

Now that we've crossed into the month of August, I figured it was a good time to re-establish or revisit my Spring/Summer goals and some other updates.

My plan this month is to make a sincere stab at simplicity and eliminate anything that is not either useful or beautiful. That leaves a lot of room for things we own and use so I'm not getting rid of things we'll need to replace later, but hopefully getting rid of the excess.

Also, I plan to sell what I can. So far:

3 pairs of shoes on ebay
1 vintage camera
2 books I finished reading

Approx income total so far: $170

I feel a strong urge to get rid of the car and force myself to remember what car-lessness is like. Sort of like doing another spending freeze but not having to think about it all the time - more of a natural cap on gas spending. But I need to invest a little in it before it's ready to sell and any profits from selling the car wouldn't be income since we would probably reinvest in another one this winter... so that idea is pending.

I find that I get the same excitement from purging things that I sometimes get from buying or acquiring something new. I have been trying to repeat to myself, "I have everything I need" and it has been a successful mantra to avoid "just looking" while I'm passing through a commercial area. What I don't find I don't miss!

We have couchsurfers staying with us right now who have been traveling since March and are successfully only spending money on gas. They brought dumpster diving treasures with them and planted the potted herb starter plants in the garden along with our other herbs. Abundance!

A few weeks ago we had a friend-of-a-friend stay with us. It was a very enjoyable evening and I realized that even though I didn't know him, I treated him with the same respect and appreciation that I treat old friends with, because of his connection to someone we love and have known for so many years. He was grandfathered in.

That night I had a realization as I was falling asleep - we should treat everyone we meet as if they are an old friend. Accept and overlook or cherish personality quirks that we would otherwise not understand, and appreciate each person for who they are, what they have been through and the richness they contribute to our lives. This is no easy task but leaves room for so much joy. I think I will be working towards this for the rest of my life but it was nice to have a glimpse of it come so easy.

Our lovely snowman thanks to April's snowstorm

Goals for this Spring and Summer

thriftiness/frugality

I constantly feel like our ideas and influences are converging around parallel ideas. Just like the telephone was invented by two people at the same time - there were influences at the time that made the telephone the next possible step. I think financial fluency and simplicity are two ideas that are becoming more and more relevant especially to young people trying to make sense of college debt and future goals and will only continue to grow. Here are some of the most tangible results and parallel ideas that have been interesting food for thought as we emerge from the freeze:



- Some of our friends are now starting their own spending freezes! This helps us keep the lessons we learned present in our minds as they have their own adventures in non-spending.
- On January 31st, with somewhat empty cupboards and fridge, we were treated to a feast by our neighbors and Tory and I both had a strangely big emotional response to seeing our neighbors fridge stocked with fresh veggies for the super bowl.
- AJ wrote this great blog post in January on the gospel
- We continue to meet with our finances book club and everyone is excited to dig deeper and share our budgeting secrets
- After a month break, food seems somewhat outrageously expensive even at Cub, we are hesitant to buy anything deemed unnecessary
- There is freedom both in a freeze and coming out of it. I enjoy being able to meet an old friend for coffee in a common space, and driving during the winter, but it was also freeing to be able to host gatherings instead of going out so often.
-  This month I was very lax with my food choices, enjoying free meals regardless of the usual restrictions my LDL’s insist on. I think for me, February will have to be a month focused on re-establishing my boundaries with sugar and dairy. In many ways though, this month was still one of the most healthy we’ve ever had since we were constantly making meals from scratch at home. We are hoping to keep the strategic home cooking and planning going!



- The biggest result of the spending freeze is that I ran the numbers and we quite incredibly spent less than 10% of our income this month.... this was quite unexpected, and also not repeatable on a consistent basis since our month was front and backloaded and relying on others - we bought a stockpile of groceries and gas on Dec. 31st and February 2nd. And January is one of those months in the year that happens to have a 3rd paycheck for Tory in it since it is such a long month plus Tory's coworker shouldered all of the carpooling weight to Delano which is a huge monthly gas expense for us. But we certainly surprised ourselves with how low we can go, and are thinking that instead of deciding which things to continue to give up, we are trying to ask ourselves which things we want to add back in.

Thanks to everyone for their support and generosity during our spending freeze!

Our last week of the spending freeze was predictably the most interesting. Our fridge is more empty every day and it is bringing me joy somehow. It’s simpler, it’s quite obvious what we’re able to make or not make, and ingredients still keep coming together for amazing meals. Less choice is easier and relaxing when other things seems so fast paced.

January 25: Tory really brought it home this week with a feast with our final stash of eggs and other goodies for brunch - the theme of ABUNDANCE is still very relevant!


January 26: We budgeted our trips for the rest of the month so we could decide what outings we could combine and feasibly still get to work. Once Tory's meeting was bumped into February we didn't have to cancel anything, and we went from home to Solomon’s Porch, to Bloomington and back on Sunday. We did tap into our spare 4 gallons reserved for the lawnmower in the summer!


January 28: So on Tuesday, on the way home from work in my car, not surprisingly, this happened:


January 29: And on Wednesday morning, this happened:


My commutes for the rest of the week were very snowy, but all the other bus riders were in high spirits from the fluffy snow.
Elliot has been kind enough to pick us up for climbing at VE most Wednesdays if we’re up for it and Tory went this week while I continued to sew.

January 30: In the evening, Tory and I met at the Beta.MN event Reed was putting on - I took the bus and Tory negotiated with a lovely mom and pop restaurant for free parking downtown.  Beta.MN provided enough delicious hors d'oeuvres to call dinner, and topped it off with free pizza at the end of the night. Yum.

January 31: Last day! People really treated us on this last day, whether they knew it or not. My work ordered Glamdoll donuts, Tory's carpool buddy brought him breakfast, someone else took him out for lunch, and Micah and Jo cooked us a final feast for dinner and took us sledding. Thanks all!


We have been putting thought into what this all means and what it has taught us - today we talked about instead of deciding what to continue to exclude from our lives, talking about what we will put back in. Very conclusively though, WE MADE IT! And it wasn't even as hard as I thought it would be. Four of our friends decided without our knowledge until recently to try their own spending freeze for February! So that will be helpful in continuing to give us perspective and I'm excited to spend some time reflecting on all of this.

January 15 - Halfway there! I made Indian coconut curry and we stayed in watched a movie and ate popcorn. I made sure we stocked up so much we wouldn't run out of popcorn! In other news, the Black Hearts Ball site launched today and I'm very excited! Get tickets if you want to come see what I've been working on for this Valentine's day :)

January 16 - Work night - Tory paints and I sew.

January 17 - Adam and McCall willingly drove to our place for chili dinner and we played a few intense rounds of Dutch Blitz.

January 18 - Tory breaks into the old dried goods: soaking beans overnight and using dried rice noodles to get creative with a new Thai dish. I had a sleepover with Melissa at Jo's house next door... just tromped a few feet through the snow drifts to get home!

January 19 - Anneke stopped by for tea and good talks. Tory's car is still at half a tank since he switched up his carpool, so we took that one to Solomon's Porch in south Minneapolis and then continued on to Bloomington for dinner and games with Tory's family.

January 20 - My car continues to have battery issues and won't start. My first time taking the bus again in at least a year is quite successful and I get to work in about 35 minutes instead of the typical 20 in the snow by car, which isn't bad at all. I was excited and ready to give up the car entirely until the my route home proved much less invigorating as it was dark already which made it cold, and the transfer was longer downtown.


January 21 - 24 - I took the bus successfully a few other sub zero days this week, interspersed with driving Tory to carpool and taking our jetta, which has a broken connection in the exhaust and is becoming painful to drive. We are realizing that cars are a pretty massive expense over time. I also had a work meeting downtown this week and had to park far away and walk because I realized I couldn't pay the 50 cents for the meter. It's all a good reminder of how my former, frugal-by-necessity self made it work and that public transit is both a good resource and also the norm for a lot of people.

We made sure this month to budget enough gas to go to Saint Paul for our Free book club meeting. Tory had a crazy day at work and didn't get a chance to stop and eat lunch (this is not the way we prefer to save meals!). I took the bus in the morning and worked late until a very hungry Tory picked me up. I got a call from him around 6:30 saying he was crossing the bridge on 35W into NE minneapolis... which is how to get to my work's old building. Tory's internal autopilot had failed to recognize that my work is now located on eat street so he looped back and we headed onward to Saint Paul. Neither of us quite remembered where our friends lived but had a general idea and figured we would remember when we got close. Needless to say, we got lost on the side streets, roaming around. We were wasting gas (our most precious resource at this point) and feeling the exhaust fumes so Tory pulled over and turned the car off and I finally found a phone number and got directions. Armed with that, and ready to be warm and at our destination, we went to start the car with no success. Tory flagged down a kind stranger pretty quickly and he brought is car around to give us a jump.


All these things together added up to kind of a rough night but after we got a jump we were welcomed into our friend's home with open arms, a lovely dinner and unending supply of popcorn. It made for good discussion, since our book club is all about finances, time, and relationships.

It was the first time our experiment was truly challenging since our typical fixes weren't there for us to fall back on:
- getting the exhaust repaired
- stopping to buy something to eat on the go
- idling the car / not worrying about conserving gas
So we had to deal with them and ask for the help of friends and strangers. A good practice in relying on the goodness of others and provisions of God to get through even small challenges.

Nearing the end of the third week of the experiment, we budgeted out our meals for the rest of the month just to make sure we were rationing properly and would have enough resources to make 24 more meals (not including breakfast). Looking good!

Okay, beginning week two. Food is still abundant. Cars are at just over half tank of gas respectively.

January 13 - So far this month has been a good exercise in letting go of control and self-reliance and being willing to ask friends and family for help, for fun, for carpools and more. Monday night, we didn't even ask - Melissa offered to get us all free tickets to see Her at the the Lagoon theater through her work, which we had really wanted to see but resigned ourselves to waiting at least until it came to the Hopkins theater. We parked for free a quarter mile away and took a short walk to the theater in the big fluffy snow flakes. We are still mulling over the movie - in a good way - highly recommended! After the movie, we met up with Elliot and Ryan at the climbing gym and and then stopped by Ryan's house to pick up some shower and tile caulk - our only tube of it split open right after Tory started finishing up the shower resealing project. We can shower again!

January 14 - This morning I brought Tory to a conference downtown on my way to work - it's a rare day that we get to carpool together.
My boss decided to cater lunch to the office just because. We've been living in luxury this month!

I've eaten most of my salty snacks at work and have had to move on to the purely healthy stuff - apples and peanut butter and almonds.

I have a habit of regularly checking our bank, and it's been very strange to have no changes to speak of.

One of the best things about this month has been that its long enough to break habits (ones like stopping at the thrift store on the way home from work, going out for coffee or tea, and our frequent restaurant bills)

And it's long enough to starting new habits - keeping homemade food on hand for lunches, making healthy muffins so I can grab one to go in the mornings, finding creative solutions since buying a fix isn't an option, finding free activities and hosting people at our place, and grouping our excursions together to save on gas. The funny thing is that it doesn't feel very different from normal life. We're just not spending any money.

An interesting thing about this experiment is that it's going to get harder as it progresses! After week one we are in high spirits and feel like it has mostly added positive changes to our lives. For example, when faced with the choice of preparing healthy homemade meals for lunch all week vs. preparing and therefore eating nothing, the obvious choice so far has been to prioritize making lunches! Here are a few other little life adjustments we've made each day.

January 1 - We went to Adam and McCall's for New Years and they brought us to a party at friends of theirs which ended up being lots of fun. We brought eggs and other breakfast goodies to Adam and McCall's earlier that night, knowing we would sleep over and want to go to brunch in the morning - the first day of the Spending Freeze. McCall and Tory made an awesome egg bake and we had such a relaxing morning drinking tea and coffee while it was in the oven.



January 2 - The deLange family Christmas present opening Skype was moved to January 2 this year to get everyone in on the call at the same time over the holidays. So we were given a ton of wonderful, thoughtful, and practical gifts to add to our lives. It was an easy day to practice gratefulness, and we are also grateful to be able to video chat with everyone and thank them "in person".



January 3 - Tory's coworker bought him a beer, and a new friend of mine was willing to go to the Tea Garden where I have a groupon for a large drink that I had already bought last month. In a disappointing turn of events, Tory had to drive all the way to Delano when his carpool buddies had other plans. Hans Wagen=3/4 tank by day 3. Tory arranged alternative carpool with Jonah for back up.

January 4 - Spent all day inside, which felt appropriate according to the temperature. Meal planning has been interesting since it's important to use up the things that will spoil and save the things that won't for later. In the morning, Tory made a huevos rancheros style egg bake with lots of veggies and black beans for protein, and I ended up making a pumpkin, cauliflower, spinach, and mock duck green curry and oatmeal pumpkin muffins later that evening. That pumpkin needed to be eaten.

January 5 - We lined up our activities in south Minneapolis for the day to maximize gas and travel. I brought my trusty consultant Tory to my designer meeting at You&Me, then we went to the VE Climbing Gym --- Solomon's Porch --- Home again. I'm pretty sore today since we ended up spending almost three hours at the gym before church but it was fun and felt like a good use of time with some buddies who showed up as well. We were quite hungry and a bit sad that we couldn't go out for dinner with the buddies after climbing or to Chipotle with the group after church but we rushed home and ate yummy leftover egg veggie bean bake wrapped up in tortillas. Been thinking a lot about instant vs. delayed gratification.




January 6 - We looked at the calendar and realized that January is a disproportionately long month and that there is still essentially 4 work weeks left of the experiment and we've already used a quarter of both our gas tanks! With Tory's commute, gas is definitely the most valuable resource in this experiment. I reaaaally hope it gets warmer before my bus commute begins. Neither of our cars started after work! After dinner we hung out with the next door neighbors, blew freezing bubbles and threw boiling water into the air - a night well spent.

January 7 - I gave a guy who was walking all bundled up a ride to the store this morning which has little to do with frugality, but still a lot to do with cultivating a spirit of abundance instead of scarcity. It barely made a different in my commute but saved him from walking almost 10 minutes in polar temperatures. And it was a small exercise in cultivating intentional vulnerability instead of fear which is a rare opportunity these days.

In the evening we had our bi-weekly finances group / couples group therapy / all around fantastic time. An ongoing conversation in that group has been around abundance and we got to share our experiment so far. The main reason for this experiment is saying, WE HAVE ENOUGH. Tory described it as living off the fat. We have so much that for a month we can live of the excess we've been accruing and be totally fine. A little more creative and intentional, and better for it hopefully.