When people find out we're moving to Thailand (!!!), there's a lot of questions, understandably so. A lot of times people ask if I'm nervous. At this point, my overwhelming emotion is excitement for our big move. It's a new chapter, a new place, a new lifestyle we get to build, and ultimately we are opening ourselves up to so many new opportunities for growth that are harder to come across when you're living in relatively the same patterns for 5+ years. It's hard to imagine leaving our friends and community, but I know this is the right time to go. I have no idea what we will be opening ourselves up to, but I'm excited.



So I am not nervous to go but I have been dealing with a fear that we won't make it. I trust Tory and I both that we are committed to the move. At this point, more and more pieces are falling into place and it feels guided by God. Like we've asked and now we shall receive. We're so close. So because I trust our desire and willingness to step into the unknown, I fear the unpredictable. The things that God does not wish upon us, but that he will guide us through. Hard lessons, natural disasters, skiing accidents, airplane crashes, letting my sweet love out of my sight. It's not an overwhelming fear but it's there, nagging me in a way that it wasn't before. Similarly, I sometimes tremble at how beautiful it is to have someone to love and to know. And with my whole body and spirit I glimpse and fear the deepness of the potential loss. I trust that God is guiding our path, but mainly because I have seen so many blessings. I don't know what it means to trust and follow him in the face of unbearable loss, or even in the face of small, unmet, human expectations.

All this points to how really truly blessed we are. I'm in awe of it. What I desire is gratefulness without fear. Without wondering when or if the bubble will pop. I want to trust God, not our own plans, to lead us through this beautiful, messy, wonderful life. This is my prayer for 2015.

I took a facebook break inspired by a book, and then came back inspired by books - the viral top ten booklist that my friends were sharing, which came up in real life conversation. Facebook is a great tool and a great trap, and I did get the perspective I wanted by deactivating for a few weeks. But I still want to participate and interact with my friendships near and far both in reality and virtually.

The main thing I became aware of is how much I use facebook as a coping method for stress. It provides a crazy amount of distractions and rabbit holes to follow at any given time and there's always something new to see. Not having it as a safety net made me very aware of how much I use it to distract from stressful situations, worries, or mental patterns. Instead of being able to obsessively check it, I had to work through my feelings without that crutch - after some spinning, I practiced some mental exercises that Tory has been teaching me, used prayer to ask for peace, and went to the climbing gym to burn off some energy. I also think that it was enough time to break patterns of consistently checking in on facebook, which I'm planning to carry on - a new normal for myself. I missed out on seeing photos of my friends who live far away, and those little interactions that keep me connected to them, so I am glad to be back, but I hold to it loosely.

My plan this month is to make a sincere stab at simplicity and eliminate anything that is not either useful or beautiful. That leaves a lot of room for things we own and use so I'm not getting rid of things we'll need to replace later, but hopefully getting rid of the excess.

Also, I plan to sell what I can. So far:

3 pairs of shoes on ebay
1 vintage camera
2 books I finished reading

Approx income total so far: $170

I feel a strong urge to get rid of the car and force myself to remember what car-lessness is like. Sort of like doing another spending freeze but not having to think about it all the time - more of a natural cap on gas spending. But I need to invest a little in it before it's ready to sell and any profits from selling the car wouldn't be income since we would probably reinvest in another one this winter... so that idea is pending.

I find that I get the same excitement from purging things that I sometimes get from buying or acquiring something new. I have been trying to repeat to myself, "I have everything I need" and it has been a successful mantra to avoid "just looking" while I'm passing through a commercial area. What I don't find I don't miss!

We have couchsurfers staying with us right now who have been traveling since March and are successfully only spending money on gas. They brought dumpster diving treasures with them and planted the potted herb starter plants in the garden along with our other herbs. Abundance!

A few weeks ago we had a friend-of-a-friend stay with us. It was a very enjoyable evening and I realized that even though I didn't know him, I treated him with the same respect and appreciation that I treat old friends with, because of his connection to someone we love and have known for so many years. He was grandfathered in.

That night I had a realization as I was falling asleep - we should treat everyone we meet as if they are an old friend. Accept and overlook or cherish personality quirks that we would otherwise not understand, and appreciate each person for who they are, what they have been through and the richness they contribute to our lives. This is no easy task but leaves room for so much joy. I think I will be working towards this for the rest of my life but it was nice to have a glimpse of it come so easy.

Today I would like to encourage everyone I know to try couchsurfing, whether its by hosting or traveling. 
It's by far the best way I've found to really experience a place while traveling. It's a fantastic loophole financially and in term of interpersonal connections for travelers but also for hosting. We don't have time to travel all over the world right now, so couchsurfing brings the world to us. A couple from Wales stayed at our place for a few days last week. They have been crossing the world after living in Thailand for a few years - find more about their journeys here. 

Check out my couchsurfing profile and reviews and pretend you've never met me if you have fears about it being sketchy, and understand that you can be highly selective with the people you meet - by reading couchsurfing reviews you can guarantee that at least that many people have trusted this person and become better for it. Users can't delete reviews from their profile, so its important to built trust on the site, and easy to reject a request if you are not completely on board with their reviews (or lack of). In a sense, Couchsurfing is just as foolproof as the rest of life is/isn't, but opens you up to much more beauty and new life giving connections.

We got this message from our new buddies a day after Tory dropped them off on his way out to Delano. Tory heading to work, Nic and J heading to Montana and beyond:





"We are alive and well in Fargo.

We had the most amazing day! It got off to a slow start and we ended up sitting in the warmth of Burger King over a coffee. In there we met a pilot who gave us her phone number and offer of free Delta flights when we need them. Then we thumbed it at the side of the road where Tory dropped us and were picked up by a lovely lady who gave took us to a rest stop on the otherside of St Cloud and gave us $20! It was insane!
Whilst we were hugging her and thanking her another woman at the rest stop approached us and asked us what we were doing. She invited us to get a lift to Alexandria with her. Whilst were in the car we asked why she was heading there. She said she was going to a funeral of a friend. And then she asked us if we wanted to go with her as moral support and a way to get a cultural experience. So we went to a funeral.
This country is insane but my god do we love it!
We left the funeral laden with sandwiches and cakes for our journey and she took us to a rest stop about 70 miles from Fargo. 
We sat there for a while and it started to get really cold, a sweet lady asked us if we wanted a lift 20 miles but we decided to wait it out and try to get all the way to Fargo. SHE then gave us $20 and apologised for not being able to help more! 
Then a truck driver stopped, got out of his cab and handed us a bag full of drinks and snacks and apologised for getting off at the next exit. When we looked in the bag there was another $20 in there! 
We waited maybe 30 minutes more before we met a sweet sweet man who was heading all the way to Fargo and he dropped us off right at the motel (which we can afford because people gave us money!)

It's been amazing. So so amazing! People have gone above and beyond to help us. Yourselves included.
Feeling pretty overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers right now. 
I don't think we'll ever take a bus again!

Thank you so much for encouraging us to do this :D

Much love to you both,
Nic & J
xxx"