I have been trying to figure out a way to insert intentionality into our upcoming life in Thailand.... all along Tory and I have been talking about being open to ways to have positive impact in a developing country, but we have also been really careful to make sure we're not trying to define those needs ourselves or insert our own judgements or "solutions" in a country we are new to.

But this "missionless" vision has the potential to set us up to lose focus and get swept up into a new equally fancy lifestyle there without ever re-establishing ways to live well there. One idea we had was that we could create a little fund that we would use to help out people and organizations as we encounter direct needs.

A few things I believe about giving (money).

- It is very complex. I would prefer the world be a fair place where everyone has enough and humans with extra money don't get to play 'god' and decide how to best allot it. Since this is not the situation we find ourselves in, I believe giving is better than not giving at all.

- A dollar can go really far in the developing world. GiveWell, a really helpful resource, outlines my suspicions well: http://www.givewell.org/giving101/Your-dollar-goes-further-overseas

- Giving within relationships often makes the most sense and impacts both the giver and receiver in unique ways.

- Our circles of influence are often segregated, making it hard to connect people who have money to give with people who would most greatly benefit from it.

We have so much money compared to the rest of the world and we are excited and blessed to be able to venture out into it. I'm inviting you on our journey (literally - come visit!) and hope to build a little network where people who want to give are connected across country borders and other lines, to people who can directly benefit.

I have no doubt that our move will connect us with people who will enrich our lives. I hope we can use all of the blessings we've received in ways that enrich the lives of those we meet as well. I don't think that money can help everything, but I love that this plan gives us a lens to be avidly looking for ways we can be a blessing to the world.

Friends and family, in just over a month, you will know someone who lives in Thailand! If you want to be part of our attempt to spread the love on the other side of the world, sign up on the Common Change website and join our group, "P2P Global Giving". 

When people find out we're moving to Thailand (!!!), there's a lot of questions, understandably so. A lot of times people ask if I'm nervous. At this point, my overwhelming emotion is excitement for our big move. It's a new chapter, a new place, a new lifestyle we get to build, and ultimately we are opening ourselves up to so many new opportunities for growth that are harder to come across when you're living in relatively the same patterns for 5+ years. It's hard to imagine leaving our friends and community, but I know this is the right time to go. I have no idea what we will be opening ourselves up to, but I'm excited.



So I am not nervous to go but I have been dealing with a fear that we won't make it. I trust Tory and I both that we are committed to the move. At this point, more and more pieces are falling into place and it feels guided by God. Like we've asked and now we shall receive. We're so close. So because I trust our desire and willingness to step into the unknown, I fear the unpredictable. The things that God does not wish upon us, but that he will guide us through. Hard lessons, natural disasters, skiing accidents, airplane crashes, letting my sweet love out of my sight. It's not an overwhelming fear but it's there, nagging me in a way that it wasn't before. Similarly, I sometimes tremble at how beautiful it is to have someone to love and to know. And with my whole body and spirit I glimpse and fear the deepness of the potential loss. I trust that God is guiding our path, but mainly because I have seen so many blessings. I don't know what it means to trust and follow him in the face of unbearable loss, or even in the face of small, unmet, human expectations.

All this points to how really truly blessed we are. I'm in awe of it. What I desire is gratefulness without fear. Without wondering when or if the bubble will pop. I want to trust God, not our own plans, to lead us through this beautiful, messy, wonderful life. This is my prayer for 2015.

• We have plenty of luxuries but we aren’t pulling out a credit card or cash in day to day life
• We decided to tip on meals so we could still use the expiring groupons and even went to the Dakota Jazz club for free dinner, drinks, and an awesome show on account of my work perks. Between the work perks and groupon deals, we find ourselves eating out about once a week - that’s plenty!
• Tomorrow we are planning to bike to First and First’s pop up Spyhouse coffee shop in North for a morning date because they are giving out free coffee until the end of the month! Keeping track of new and creative outings is something I would love to do more.
• The biggest puzzle for me so far this month came when I popped my bike tire on my way to work. I was debating whether I should stick with the letter of the law and do without a bike for the rest of the month or if I should go with the spirit of the freeze, spend the money on a new inner tube, and have a bike to ride for the rest of the month! But creativity and good community won out anyways when I posted my flat on facebook and Chelsea came my rescue! I would love to be more of a resource to my friends and community.

• On Sunday, Laine is hosting a clothing swap for friends. So I’ll be able to share some of the excess I’ve been building up and leave with a few special new things. Swapping is free!
• I even went “shopping” at American Apparel last weekend to try on some things that I can add to my family’s Christmas list
• The CSA from Farmfarm has made the food portion of the spending freeze non-existent. We have a constant influx of fresh veggies, and this has been invaluable!
• And of course, people are kind and generous around us and we are spoiled by a bought beer or lunch or chai. Practicing both gratefulness and generosity is a constant goal for me.

Pre-established Spending Exceptions

-Garbage Disposal and other kitchen remodel finishing touches - so that Tory doesn't have to stress out and get everything crammed in before Wednesday.

-A scooter for under $250 if one comes my way... I've been shopping around and don't want to miss a great deal because it comes my way during the freeze - and it's something that will actually reduce gas costs.

-Each of us can fill up on gas once during October so that we are careful about our gas use but not overly restricted from seeing friends and family or commuting. This was something we felt strained about in our first freeze and want to make sure are a priority.

-We can tip on the two groupons I already bought a while ago that expire in October, but not spend more than they are worth.

Shopping list for last days of September

Aldi shopping trip (we usually choose from their small section of organic - bananas, agave, almond milk, and less healthy take and bake pizzas that we've started loading with the entire farm share)

Costco shopping trip (coffee, salmon burgers, toilet paper, healthy snacks, organic eggs)

Coops and little grocery stores (coconut milk, mock duck, tea)

I'm hoping to experiment with:
cold weather biking
making things from scratch (tortillas, buns, etc)
using our CSA and garden to the max
hanging out with friends without spending money
spending more time at the climbing gym as fitness plus entertainment
spending more time on hobbies

As we head into the cold months, I enjoy having this little challenge to keep things interesting. And I'll be stocking up on tea today to make sure I can make myself some warm drinks this fall.

I took a facebook break inspired by a book, and then came back inspired by books - the viral top ten booklist that my friends were sharing, which came up in real life conversation. Facebook is a great tool and a great trap, and I did get the perspective I wanted by deactivating for a few weeks. But I still want to participate and interact with my friendships near and far both in reality and virtually.

The main thing I became aware of is how much I use facebook as a coping method for stress. It provides a crazy amount of distractions and rabbit holes to follow at any given time and there's always something new to see. Not having it as a safety net made me very aware of how much I use it to distract from stressful situations, worries, or mental patterns. Instead of being able to obsessively check it, I had to work through my feelings without that crutch - after some spinning, I practiced some mental exercises that Tory has been teaching me, used prayer to ask for peace, and went to the climbing gym to burn off some energy. I also think that it was enough time to break patterns of consistently checking in on facebook, which I'm planning to carry on - a new normal for myself. I missed out on seeing photos of my friends who live far away, and those little interactions that keep me connected to them, so I am glad to be back, but I hold to it loosely.