I wrote a book reflection for Americorps about "The Impossible Will Take a Little While" which I have been thinking about a lot lately. It includes stories and essays from the likes of Nelson Mandela, Maya Angelou, Arundhati Roy, Tony Kushner, and Vaclav Havel, Alice Walker, Jonathan Kozol, Diane Ackerman, Susan Griffin, Marian Wright Edelman, Cornel West, Terry Tempest Williams, Jim Hightower, Desmond Tutu, and Howard Zinn. I don't know, that might be all of them. Here it is. This book was monumental. It is a compilation of stories and essays by strong, thoughtful authors who discussed different movements and small actions throughout history that helped change history-sometimes suddenly, sometimes slowly over time. It is subtitled, "a citizen's guide to hope in a time of fear," and is illustrated beautifully with acts of hope by average citizens. I fully believe that we must challenge fear if we are to hope, and to love. I went to this book for a reaffirmation that the little things I can do to make change can make a difference in the world because as Americorps members, every day we do little things that we hope make a difference. One of the best outcomes I noticed in the youth surveys we have the program participants fill out at the end of the school year long program was that everyone agreed with the statement, "Teens can make positive change." This was so exciting to me because I do believe that teens can make positive change and I was so glad to hear that they believed it of themselves as well. There are times when I doubt for myself whether I can make positive change, but they there are little stories that emerge months or years later about how I impacted someone without knowing it and that is encouraging. This book was basically a collection of these types of stories-people taking action that eventually become turning points in movements for change along with small stories that didn't become the main stories of change in human history, but were stepping stones towards change. These stories, small and large encouraged me, but the overall tone of the book was quite dark. It was written just after George W. Bush began his second term, so for those that had begun to feel hopeless about the plight of the poor and underserved, environmental degredation and policy and America's role in the world, among other things, during the first (many of these authors among them), it was a time when one really needed to fight to remain hopeful in America. Though I was encouraged by the election of President Obama, this book is a sobering reminder that the problems that existed before have not all gone away and that we still need to do every small thing we can to make the world a better place and maintain hope, because, "The Impossible Will Take a Little While."

What a family.



Maid of Honor
Jessica, mon soeur.





So beautiful and getting so old. She's even old enough to sign as a Maid of Honor, thank goodness. This from the baby who made me cry when I found out a sister was born. It is so fun to continue to get to know her as she becomes an adult. And stay up late in bed talking because our visits are fewer than they ever should be.


Adrian.





Little Big Bro with a little kitten. So smart and such a stand up guy. Its very fun to be adult children together and visit each others lives outside of the family now. I'm looking forward to meeting this Kaylee woman whom he seems to have taken a liking to!


Erik.







If you could assign a compatibility rating to interests, thoughts and ideas, personality quirks, and life philosophies like LastFM does with music, my youngest brother and my rating would be SUPER in so many categories, including music. And if you're looking to get to know someone who really is able to balance being both hip and genuine, you'd be hard pressed to find a better candidate.

But then there's...

Anna.



I forgot how beautiful and well timed this video is. It is so perfectly Anna, that I think it is right for any occasion, even though it says birthday and talks about the Colorado House which is long past. It is just as meaningful now, and I can't wait (and never do have to wait long) to hear from her, talk with her, or confide in her. But it sure will be nice to see her again in person.


Reb.



A favorite friend and a favorite fruit. I learned so much about myself and about her and about the world when we went to Thailand together, even though we'd known each other for years before that. We travel well together. She is wonderful.


Katie Moelker.







Katie is the life of the party, especially at special events. Tory and I are so excited for her to be a part of our wedding and to start and finish on the dance floor with her. What a sweet soul she is. I feel so honored when I hear she talks of us, still remembers camping with Rachel, says, "I like Tory" and talks of being a "Bridesmary" for our wedding.

More talk of the men to come...

A month ago, it felt like we skipped spring and went straight into summer.


Swimming and Scrabble on the beach, two weeks ago.

Now we are getting more of that spring weather and I feel like the world is in transition. This morning a tiny baby kitten walked out from behind the foliage. If you've read earlier notes of mine, you know more cats is not a good or reasonable thing for our neighborhood. I can only guess how many more are coming at the arrival of this one. I guess its kitten season: Lemmy and Shiva turned 1 this week. Life lately has been beautiful, tragic, wonderful and sad. Changes, growth and death saturate the world around me like the humid air.




The earth produces growth! I recently enjoyed our Americorps retreat and volunteering on this organic farm. Tory and I have been busy landscaping and taming our jungle of a yard and it is now manicured into the American dream (without the fence) with healthy sod and raised garden beds where tomatoes, herbs, cucumber, broccoli and an abundance of onions are loving the wet weather.



Tragedy yet small amounts of warmth in huddle with the loss of Joke's youngest sister.



Roomate bonding and dancing into the night.




The city is beautiful. I am happy in this place.

The other half of what made our trip so great was family. I was able to make it to my cousin's wedding and have a special window into the lives of my cousins and family through that night.
Later that weekend, my family threw us a party and showered us with wedding gifts. Tory was thoroughly welcomed to the family and we were very spoiled.


Tory sporting his tie and me with the biggest bling I've got. It "sparkles" LED style.


Jess got a chance to fulfill her maiderly duties! Good job Jess.

When we were house shopping, Tory and I came across a sign advertising a "sexy house" and I laughed, but when we looked at the pictures, I decided that it really was a sexy house. Our house... not sexy. More lodgy. Perfect for us. I would extend to say though, that as a city, Vancouver is sexy. In a really good, natural way. Friendly beaches, hip people, really nice people too. Tons of natural resources, city recycling and even composting programs, diversity, and art.
I feel honored to have been able to see the city's great sides through couchsurfing, biking, and walking around, but also to see Vancouver's dark side. The hours after we arrived, we started walking through Gastown and in search of Chinatown and instead, stumbled upon East Hastings. The concentrated mental illness and other really sad sights was such a shock to us that I looked up the area after we got back. The reviews are mixed; locals mostly wrote supportive comments acknowledging the sadness of those few blocks and encouraging tourists to not avoid the whole eastside because of it, and many tourists reviews talked about accidentally coming into the area and speed-walking through with looks of terror. I did not at all feel in danger in the area, but Tory and I both felt the heaviness of it and saw both some really sad and some overtly evil things that still weigh on my mind. One tourist commented: "If your in Vancouver on a nice vacation do not go here! Avoid it at all costs. You do not need to see this." I would counter that if you are on a nice vacation, this is exactly what you need to see. It's not pretty or happy, but poverty and suffering is a global reality that in North America is not usually so concentrated. I'm not advocating any sort of disaster tourism, but a wish for people to see the humanity there and everywhere (especially your own place, city, etc). Practice understanding, really seeing, and humility, instead of FEAR. Fear cannot help others, see others, or understand needs or virtues. Fear and love can't coexist. I really loved my short time in Vancouver, and am trying/learning to truly love the city I live in.


One of the best ways to overcome fear of the unknown and make a conscious decision to know instead is to try couchsurfing. If you haven't yet, please check out it out. My profile will help you get a feel for the system http://www.couchsurfing.org/people/rdel/. It is the best way to see a city. Fantastic accommodations, local knowledge, great company, special places to hang out, views of the city and even more that money couldn't buy if it tried. The point of it is to offer your couch when you're home and stay on other people's couches when you're not, in a market-free, pay-it-forward kind of exchange. Our hosts in Vancouver lived 2 houses down from the beach and we watched the sun go down from these spots on the front porch while chatting and drinking wine. The next day, they took us to the best vegetarian poutine place in Vancouver since Tory had never tried it, and then we borrowed bikes from them and worked off the gravy and cheese curds with a bike ride around the entirety of Stanley Park.

A PACKAGE ARRIVED!
Its my mothers wedding dress from 1986.



And cleverly labeled "soon Roff :)"
(addresses smudged with photoshop because I don't trust the blog spammer)

A great fit! But not exceptionally flattering.
I can't remember the last time I looked like such a giant. And I've gotten multiple Beetlejuice references to prove it.

Consider this the "BEFORE" picture! Thanks mom!



SOON: Tory and I are heading to my cousin's wedding in British Columbia this week. I am excited to go, and to bring my future husband as my date! We'll be couchsurfing in Vancouver to see some local flavor and then meet up with my parents and see the rest of my dad's family shortly! It's been too long.

NEXT: We started our marriage counseling; we each filled out questionnaires about our personal lives, family, and expectations. This was fun it made me reminiscent of being in grade 9 and sending surveys about myself to all my friends via a few cleverly named hotmail addresses, but also exciting and meaningful because the questions weren't "would you ever kiss me?" but questions geared to help us understand areas in our growing relationship that might need more focus or discussion.

THEN: We spent all Saturday doing a great amount of yard work like cutting down huge weed trees and turning over the lawn, and then Sunday locked the keys in the car and had an adventure buying a "slim jim" which is available for anyone to buy apparently at the local auto place (Right in the self-help section. Handy!) and then met a few characters in the neighborhood who figured they had some expertise in the area of opening locked car doors, but in the end, Tory got it open.

SO! Wedding date! We are getting married September 11, 2010!
We do realize that this coincides with an anniversary of the infamous named-after-the-date 9/11 tragedy. I have been trying to ease the few raised eyebrows we've gotten, without disrespecting those who feel that yearly anniversary very deeply. I don't believe dates are cursed, or that we should avoid every day throughout history on which a tragedy occurred. All you can do is create new memories, or as Joke said, "they are reclaiming 9/11." We are very excited and feel thoroughly supported in our relationship by family and friends. Thanks everybody!

We decided to get married sooner rather than later so I wanted to blog to make sure we do remember to enjoy the planning process. I am so far! I do feel pressure to pick a reception venue soon, but our date is more available than most and we're trying to find a non-traditional venue anyway. Vines? Karate? Russian Art? I'm having a good time looking.

North Minneapolis is a really neat place to be. Even the news is loosening the stereotypes;
Two articles in two weeks!

Bringing back the mundane

Fighting the stigma