A few weeks ago we had a friend-of-a-friend stay with us. It was a very enjoyable evening and I realized that even though I didn't know him, I treated him with the same respect and appreciation that I treat old friends with, because of his connection to someone we love and have known for so many years. He was grandfathered in.

That night I had a realization as I was falling asleep - we should treat everyone we meet as if they are an old friend. Accept and overlook or cherish personality quirks that we would otherwise not understand, and appreciate each person for who they are, what they have been through and the richness they contribute to our lives. This is no easy task but leaves room for so much joy. I think I will be working towards this for the rest of my life but it was nice to have a glimpse of it come so easy.

Our lovely snowman thanks to April's snowstorm

Goals for this Spring and Summer

thriftiness/frugality

I constantly feel like our ideas and influences are converging around parallel ideas. Just like the telephone was invented by two people at the same time - there were influences at the time that made the telephone the next possible step. I think financial fluency and simplicity are two ideas that are becoming more and more relevant especially to young people trying to make sense of college debt and future goals and will only continue to grow. Here are some of the most tangible results and parallel ideas that have been interesting food for thought as we emerge from the freeze:



- Some of our friends are now starting their own spending freezes! This helps us keep the lessons we learned present in our minds as they have their own adventures in non-spending.
- On January 31st, with somewhat empty cupboards and fridge, we were treated to a feast by our neighbors and Tory and I both had a strangely big emotional response to seeing our neighbors fridge stocked with fresh veggies for the super bowl.
- AJ wrote this great blog post in January on the gospel
- We continue to meet with our finances book club and everyone is excited to dig deeper and share our budgeting secrets
- After a month break, food seems somewhat outrageously expensive even at Cub, we are hesitant to buy anything deemed unnecessary
- There is freedom both in a freeze and coming out of it. I enjoy being able to meet an old friend for coffee in a common space, and driving during the winter, but it was also freeing to be able to host gatherings instead of going out so often.
-  This month I was very lax with my food choices, enjoying free meals regardless of the usual restrictions my LDL’s insist on. I think for me, February will have to be a month focused on re-establishing my boundaries with sugar and dairy. In many ways though, this month was still one of the most healthy we’ve ever had since we were constantly making meals from scratch at home. We are hoping to keep the strategic home cooking and planning going!



- The biggest result of the spending freeze is that I ran the numbers and we quite incredibly spent less than 10% of our income this month.... this was quite unexpected, and also not repeatable on a consistent basis since our month was front and backloaded and relying on others - we bought a stockpile of groceries and gas on Dec. 31st and February 2nd. And January is one of those months in the year that happens to have a 3rd paycheck for Tory in it since it is such a long month plus Tory's coworker shouldered all of the carpooling weight to Delano which is a huge monthly gas expense for us. But we certainly surprised ourselves with how low we can go, and are thinking that instead of deciding which things to continue to give up, we are trying to ask ourselves which things we want to add back in.

Thanks to everyone for their support and generosity during our spending freeze!

Our last week of the spending freeze was predictably the most interesting. Our fridge is more empty every day and it is bringing me joy somehow. It’s simpler, it’s quite obvious what we’re able to make or not make, and ingredients still keep coming together for amazing meals. Less choice is easier and relaxing when other things seems so fast paced.

January 25: Tory really brought it home this week with a feast with our final stash of eggs and other goodies for brunch - the theme of ABUNDANCE is still very relevant!


January 26: We budgeted our trips for the rest of the month so we could decide what outings we could combine and feasibly still get to work. Once Tory's meeting was bumped into February we didn't have to cancel anything, and we went from home to Solomon’s Porch, to Bloomington and back on Sunday. We did tap into our spare 4 gallons reserved for the lawnmower in the summer!


January 28: So on Tuesday, on the way home from work in my car, not surprisingly, this happened:


January 29: And on Wednesday morning, this happened:


My commutes for the rest of the week were very snowy, but all the other bus riders were in high spirits from the fluffy snow.
Elliot has been kind enough to pick us up for climbing at VE most Wednesdays if we’re up for it and Tory went this week while I continued to sew.

January 30: In the evening, Tory and I met at the Beta.MN event Reed was putting on - I took the bus and Tory negotiated with a lovely mom and pop restaurant for free parking downtown.  Beta.MN provided enough delicious hors d'oeuvres to call dinner, and topped it off with free pizza at the end of the night. Yum.

January 31: Last day! People really treated us on this last day, whether they knew it or not. My work ordered Glamdoll donuts, Tory's carpool buddy brought him breakfast, someone else took him out for lunch, and Micah and Jo cooked us a final feast for dinner and took us sledding. Thanks all!


We have been putting thought into what this all means and what it has taught us - today we talked about instead of deciding what to continue to exclude from our lives, talking about what we will put back in. Very conclusively though, WE MADE IT! And it wasn't even as hard as I thought it would be. Four of our friends decided without our knowledge until recently to try their own spending freeze for February! So that will be helpful in continuing to give us perspective and I'm excited to spend some time reflecting on all of this.

January 15 - Halfway there! I made Indian coconut curry and we stayed in watched a movie and ate popcorn. I made sure we stocked up so much we wouldn't run out of popcorn! In other news, the Black Hearts Ball site launched today and I'm very excited! Get tickets if you want to come see what I've been working on for this Valentine's day :)

January 16 - Work night - Tory paints and I sew.

January 17 - Adam and McCall willingly drove to our place for chili dinner and we played a few intense rounds of Dutch Blitz.

January 18 - Tory breaks into the old dried goods: soaking beans overnight and using dried rice noodles to get creative with a new Thai dish. I had a sleepover with Melissa at Jo's house next door... just tromped a few feet through the snow drifts to get home!

January 19 - Anneke stopped by for tea and good talks. Tory's car is still at half a tank since he switched up his carpool, so we took that one to Solomon's Porch in south Minneapolis and then continued on to Bloomington for dinner and games with Tory's family.

January 20 - My car continues to have battery issues and won't start. My first time taking the bus again in at least a year is quite successful and I get to work in about 35 minutes instead of the typical 20 in the snow by car, which isn't bad at all. I was excited and ready to give up the car entirely until the my route home proved much less invigorating as it was dark already which made it cold, and the transfer was longer downtown.


January 21 - 24 - I took the bus successfully a few other sub zero days this week, interspersed with driving Tory to carpool and taking our jetta, which has a broken connection in the exhaust and is becoming painful to drive. We are realizing that cars are a pretty massive expense over time. I also had a work meeting downtown this week and had to park far away and walk because I realized I couldn't pay the 50 cents for the meter. It's all a good reminder of how my former, frugal-by-necessity self made it work and that public transit is both a good resource and also the norm for a lot of people.

We made sure this month to budget enough gas to go to Saint Paul for our Free book club meeting. Tory had a crazy day at work and didn't get a chance to stop and eat lunch (this is not the way we prefer to save meals!). I took the bus in the morning and worked late until a very hungry Tory picked me up. I got a call from him around 6:30 saying he was crossing the bridge on 35W into NE minneapolis... which is how to get to my work's old building. Tory's internal autopilot had failed to recognize that my work is now located on eat street so he looped back and we headed onward to Saint Paul. Neither of us quite remembered where our friends lived but had a general idea and figured we would remember when we got close. Needless to say, we got lost on the side streets, roaming around. We were wasting gas (our most precious resource at this point) and feeling the exhaust fumes so Tory pulled over and turned the car off and I finally found a phone number and got directions. Armed with that, and ready to be warm and at our destination, we went to start the car with no success. Tory flagged down a kind stranger pretty quickly and he brought is car around to give us a jump.


All these things together added up to kind of a rough night but after we got a jump we were welcomed into our friend's home with open arms, a lovely dinner and unending supply of popcorn. It made for good discussion, since our book club is all about finances, time, and relationships.

It was the first time our experiment was truly challenging since our typical fixes weren't there for us to fall back on:
- getting the exhaust repaired
- stopping to buy something to eat on the go
- idling the car / not worrying about conserving gas
So we had to deal with them and ask for the help of friends and strangers. A good practice in relying on the goodness of others and provisions of God to get through even small challenges.

Nearing the end of the third week of the experiment, we budgeted out our meals for the rest of the month just to make sure we were rationing properly and would have enough resources to make 24 more meals (not including breakfast). Looking good!